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Grit Plyo - Working out behind the poor man's Kim and Kanye

lesmills view time 2018-01-11 16:42

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I love the gym for a number of reasons, but I don’t think that working out would be my number one.  No, I think the cast of characters is what enhances my gym experience.  
For example, tonight when I walked into the gym, a real housewife looking character with the biggest hair that I have ever seen followed me into the locker room and pulled me aside and asked me in a hushed voice if I knew how to block people’s text messages and phone calls.  I politely said no, and I did not ask any follow-up questions.  I am no rookie to awkward conversations at this point, so I know better than to ask any further questions. Much like the Potbelly employee who wears a large, jagged fishhook on his hat alluding to going to jail last week.  No. Follow-up. Questions.  
A few weeks ago, I also had a girl in a string bikini in the locker room ask me if I could go get her a towel.  Of course, I went and got her a towel; however, I found it fascinating that she was totally down with working out in a swimming pool with windows for walls in a string bikini, but was too bashful to go get a towel outside the locker room door,  This sums up the beauty of the gym - the characters.
Tonight, I took Grit Plyo, which is a 30 minute high-intensity workout.  The description online is “Plyo is designed to make you perform like an athlete.  This workout uses a bench and combines explosive jumping exercises with agility training to increase explosiveness and to build a lean and athletic body.”  Well, I want to explode like an athlete…I think.
Grit Plyo is a Les Mills class, so I was very optimistic. Les Mills is a well-oiled machine when it comes to designing workout classes.  I recommend taking any one of the classes that they offer.  Anyhow, the workout, like all Les Mills classes, was very structured.  We started with an active warm-up of quick squats and plyometric lunges (which are essentially jumping lunges). 
We then moved into cardio circuits.  The first circuit involved doing ten squats, ten burpees, and ten side-to-side ski jumps as many times as possible in one minute.  The music that was playing had a built-in woman counting down on the track.  She sounded like she belonged in the Hunger Games.  Very methodical with a touch of terrifying.  She began counting down with 5 seconds left to go in each minute.  For the most part, the workout continued on like this, but with the exercises changing and the workout time varying between 1 minutes, 45 seconds, and 30 seconds. 
The instructor described the last set of exercises as Tabata.  I have never taken Tabata, but what we did involved jumping jacks, power jumps (jumping as high as you can while you pull your legs into your butt and punch out with both arms), and high knee running in place.  We were instructed to do as many repetitions of each exercises for 20 seconds each.  The class concluded with abdominal work. 
Now on to the better stuff...the characters for the night.  The instructor had crazy eyes, and he lived up to his eyes.  He liked to get very close to your face and mimic your workout while cheering for you…Not only did he overstay his welcome in your face, it is a little contradictory to cheer for someone, but mimic their movements.  He also sounded like he was reading motivational posters from a six-grade classroom the entire time.  However, he did provide a good workout, and he was far from the most entertaining part of the class.
Working out in front of me was a couple that I can only describe as tiny Kim and Kayne impersonators.  They obviously thought they were in an Under Armour commercial, but did not demonstrate any actual athletic prowess.  Kim spent the bulk of her time showing Kanye her new manicure.  To be fair, the white nails looked pretty cool on her.  Kanye also approved.  
I was fascinated.  They had matching diamond earrings, which I only saw briefly because Kim took her hair down shortly after the workout began…because as a woman, nothing is more comfortable than working out with your waist long hair bouncing around right after a blowout.  Kim was not huge on participation.  She tried, and I must say, I think that everyone should get kudos for showing up and working out.  That is better than being on your couch.  And, as the crazy-eyed instructor screamed from his invisible poster collection “every day you show up you are making a better you,” which is probably true.  However, to my dismay, Kim left after 20 minutes (of the 30 minute workout).  She must have had to go take some gym selfies without me ruining her background.
Kanye stuck around.  Kayne was trying really hard. I don’t think he had worked out in a while, but he wanted to make sure everyone knew how much he was pushing himself.  This elicited a lot of high-fives from crazy eyes.  I am not sure how Kanye's pants stayed up.  They were hanging halfway down his ass.  Interestingly, he was wearing neon pink boxer briefs covered with the silhouette of ski jumpers in other neon colors.  I will chalk that up as something that I never needed to know or see.  He was obviously pained.  Probably because Kim left, but also probably because of the workout.  To show just how hard he was working out, at one point he stumbled into what I will just call my "work space"…a solid 15 feet from his workout area.  You want to convey that you are exercising? Mission accomplished, Kayne.
The workout in itself was amazing, especially for only 30 minutes.  It was high intensity.  I felt like it was really worth my time, efficiency wise, especially in light of the show. 
I included a few pictures, but none of either the real or pseudo Kim and Kanye.  The real Mr. and Mrs. West seem bashful, but if you are diligent, you might be able to find a photo or two of them on the Internet.  
Instead, I included a picture of my best friend, Erin, and myself because we are both March babies. I also included a picture of the Tuscan countryside because we are getting close to outdoor happy hour season.  Finally, I included a picture of a lion I saw on safari because that shit is adorable

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